Veteran Nollywood actor Chief Pete Edochie has reignited debate on African traditions and modern marriage proposals, insisting that a man should never kneel when asking a woman to marry him.
The respected Igbo cultural figure and elder statesman, known for his long-standing marriage and advocacy for traditional values, has repeatedly described the practice as foreign, symbolic of surrendering authority, and incompatible with African—particularly Igbo—customs.
In statements that first gained widespread attention around 2019–2020 and have resurfaced in subsequent interviews, Edochie argued that kneeling to propose is a Western import that has no place in indigenous culture.
“Kneeling down to propose to a woman is totally wrong, it is not our lifestyle,” he has said. “Kneeling before a girl in Igbo tradition means you are handing over the authority to her. She becomes the head of the family.”
He contrasts this with traditional Igbo marriage rites, in which the woman kneels to present wine (or “wine carrying”) to her husband-to-be as a sign of acceptance and respect.
“Marriage in Igbo tradition is when a lady gives her husband-to-be wine while kneeling down. What does it signify? That the man has been accepted as the husband of the lady. It is the lady who kneels before the husband, not vice versa,” Edochie explained.
The actor has been more pointed in other remarks, calling men who kneel “idiots,” “bloody fools,” and “compound buffoons.” He maintains that the gesture acknowledges the woman’s superiority, mirroring what he sees as imbalances in Western societies where, in his view, men can be displaced from the family home after disagreements.
“The white man kneels down to propose to a girl, you know what it means? The girl takes over the family,” he said. “This is why whenever you disagree with your wife overseas, you are kicked out and the wife takes the house… Kneel down before your wife and I’ll sympathise with you when she takes over the home.”
Edochie has pointed to his own marriage as evidence. He has said he did not kneel when proposing to his wife and that the couple have enjoyed a stable union lasting more than 50 years (later referenced as 56 years in some interviews), without external intervention to settle disputes.
“I didn’t kneel to propose to my wife and we’ve stayed 50 years in our marriage. I took my time to woo her, when it’s time to settle down, I asked if she’ll marry me and that was it,” he recalled. He frames the preservation of such practices as a duty of elders: correcting a younger generation that adopts Western customs at the expense of African ones.
In more recent comments, Edochie has positioned African marital traditions as potentially instructive for others. Having been married for decades, he has suggested that Africans can teach Western societies about the sanctity and longevity of marriage.
He has described himself as an “uncompromising custodian” of Igbo culture, noting that his earlier criticism of kneeling proposals drew backlash but did not deter him.
The actor’s views have sparked mixed reactions over the years. Supporters praise them as a defence of cultural identity, male headship of the household, and resistance to cultural erosion. Critics see them as outdated or overly rigid in a globalised era where romantic gestures like kneeling have become widespread, including in Nigeria.
His son, actor Yul Edochie, has offered a more nuanced take, agreeing that kneeling is not traditional African culture and that he himself did not kneel, while stressing that the posture of a proposal does not determine the success or respect within a marriage.
Edochie’s stance forms part of a broader conversation in Nigeria about the balance between tradition and modernity in courtship and marriage.
While kneeling proposals remain popular and are often viewed as romantic, cultural advocates continue to highlight alternatives rooted in local customs—standing confidently, formal family introductions, or traditional rites that emphasise mutual roles without the man assuming a posture of submission.
As debates over identity, gender roles, and cultural preservation persist, Pete Edochie’s message remains consistent: a man who values African tradition should stand, not kneel, when seeking a lifelong partnership.
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