Finally, the family of 45 years old Afolake has spoken . She has been managing depression for years. Depression can look beautiful. Both married , successful and famous people battle depression.
Ariana Grande is a world-renowned pop singer with an amazing voice and a huge discography which has won many GLOBAL awards.
She is one of the richest celebrities in her age bracket. She is battling depression. She is married and 28 years old.
She is young with an amazing career ahead of her. Yet, she is battling depression.
Depression can look like anything. Anyone can suffer from depression.
There isn’t a set way a person with depression looks like, talks like, or even acts like. It’s a damned chameleon and tricky to pick out in a crowd, or even in a person.
You can be young and married with an amazing family and still suffer from depression.
It’s truly scary to think about. It could look like your neighbor, your teacher, even your peers or your best friend that you think are successful in many life endeavours.
That’s why it’s dangerous.
Don’t underestimate it.
Afolake Abiola did not commit suicide because she is single at 45 years old. If that is the case , what can be said about Ariana Grande?, 28 , married a loveable husband and in money.
Don’t trivialise depression. It is a mental health issue. It can be triggered by anything.
Beautiful successful men that are wealthy with wives suffer from depression. Kanye West is battling depression since he was 14 years old.
Depression is a self-soothing habit. It works in a way that is not so obvious, but essentially triggered when something causes us pain (usually shame) for not meeting the expectations of others who are important in our lives (usually parents, folks, society and peers ).
So, at some point, you realize you can never succeed at meeting someone else’s expectations. At this point, your only other option is to redefine yourself as a person who cannot do what is being asked. This means lowering your self-appraisal, and that is depression. Thinking less of yourself.
When you find yourself FEELING LESS OF YOURSELF.
What can you do ?.
There are many things you can do.
The faster one being consulting a therapist that specializes in treating depressed people.
When you cannot afford the services of a therapist, you can do the following for yourself :
- Developing alternative ways to respond to triggers.
Once you are able to recognize triggers in real time, you’ll need an arsenal of alternative responses that you can engage in at the direction of the conscious mind.
Even if is a close relative like a husband or wife – move away from them;
Siblings – avoid them.
Relatives – avoid them.
Parents – stop seeing them.
You know why l listed blood relatives as Africans ?6⅞ Most family members don’t bite their words before letting it out.
We are used to damaging words. It leaves a mark in our hearts and some people with low self esteem internalise this and this can lead to unchecked depression for a long time.
Your mates are married!
Your mates are all graduates!
Your mates are all fathers and mothers!
You have one child!
You don’t have a son and that means you’re not planted well in your husband house!
You don’t have a daughter that will take care of you!
Your mates are all driving car!
Your mates are all building houses!
You’re not married yet and you will soon enter menopause at 30!
Stay far away from people who use their own insecurities as a benchmark to make themselves feel more useful than you are.
- You can SHUT THEM UP!
Don’t pretend their words are kind. They might be hurting someone that will not be courageous to speak up.
Be another person’s saviour,
stop them and push back their insecurities to them.
- Push back the triggers
As much as we might think some words are harmful. Some might be truthful. The problem might be from who it came from , mode of passage and time.
A couple might be battling childlessness. You might be trying to help with all sincerity. However , if you come to the public and remind a woman that her husband low sperm count can be treated by one mallam that is a herbalist.
I know you’re trying to help because you have seen a capable healer for them.
It is not a message to be delivered in public. You might be better off pointing a gun on her head than telling her in a public gathering that her husband is suffering from low sperm count.
What of those that tell 25-year-olds that they have entered menopause?.
Words are powerful. It can be verbal abuse which you can be sued for.
Push back such words and make those spewing it feel same way. Stop allowing it to slide. Be very brave to face them and make them understand that you will not be calm if they don’t respect themselves.
- Find a PROFESSIONAL SOLUTION to your problems.
If you’re childless – meet doctors. Miracles do happen but you need solid faith. If your faith cannot carry, GOD has equipped scientists to give us other alternatives.
If you’re unmarried and want marriage – throw yourself out there.
Move to double dating scheme and aggressively look for a partner. You will find.
Stop listening to your partners. Even ashawo and gigolo dey marry better husband and wife via surfing dating world.
If you think yourself u.gly – meet spa and beauty specialist. Ask them how you can upgrade your beauty care routine.
If you’re not successful and want to – Hire a life coach to get you to winning space.
Look for PROFESSIONAL HELP. Stop spirituality gibberish and face your demons with practical solutions.
I hope this help one or two people
Have a great week.
©️opied from Anonymous
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