My wife begged me to take care of the kids so she could visit her sick mother in the village. Just two days, she said. “I’ll be back in two days, I promise,” she pleaded. It was urgent, she insisted-her mum needed her help.
Well, since I was on my annual leave from work, I thought, why not? I could handle the kids for just two days. No big deal. She should go and see her mother.
“Are you sure you can take care of the children?” she asked again, eyeing me with doubt.
I laughed like a superhero. What’s hard about taking care of two tiny humansā-just four and two years old?
“I can do it, babe. They’re my kids,” I said confidently, pounding my chest like a warrior.
Is it not bathing them, feeding them? Pfft. Easy work.
In fact, I secretly planned to use this opportunity to prove that all her nightly complaints about being too tired to be touched and being too tired to satisfy me were just clever excuses.
Oh, I was so ready for this parenting challenge!
By 2 p.m., the kids returned from school. I welcomed them home like the responsible father I had now become. I helped them out of their uniforms and into the bathroom.
Bath time? Handled. Then I dished out their food.
While eating, they kept asking about their mum. I chuckled. “Mummy is gone for a while and Daddy will take good care of you!” I announced proudly.
Then my 4-year-old daughter looked me dead in the eye and said, “Daddy, you can’t cook.”
That one entered my chest like a spear. I told her I could cook, but she didn’t even flinch. She reminded me of the last soup I made that tasted like punishment.
Okay, fair point. She got me there. But I promised her this time would be different!
After their meal, I washed their uniforms, cleaned up the dining area, and sighed in relief. I thought I had conquered the day.
Untilā¦ they brought out their school homework.
My peopleā¦ I nearly passed out.
Two tiny humans, with heavy homework-maths, writing, colouring, and God-knows-what. They couldn’t sit still. I was teaching and talking like a madman. Yet, they weren’t listening. It was like I was lecturing a wall.
I spent nearly TWO HOURS doing basic math like I was preparing them for a big examination! My back was aching.
My brain? Scattered.
Then came the big job the next morning.
I woke up at 4 a.m. Yes, FOUR. I made breakfast, dressed them, packed their lunch bags.
But while eating, they argued, screamed, fought, criedāall at the same time.
My head was banging like a generator in a thunderstorm! I didn’t even know how to start resolving their issuesā-the more I shouted for them to stop, the more they cried and fought.
When the school bus finally took them, I collapsed on the floor like a fallen warrior.
But then I rememberedā¦ Lunch. Uniforms. Tantrums.
Dishes. Homework. We still have another day!
I swear I could see my ancestors calling me to come home.
At this point, I just had to ask myself: Please, where is my wife?! Where is the mother of my children?
God bless her o! I now fully understand and respect everything she does.
But can she come back before I completely lose my mind?!
When I called her. She asked sweetly, “How are you doing with the kids?” Fine o Very very fine Infact so so fine
She asked again ” are you all bonding well?”
Bonding well is an understatement. We have glued together..We are really bonding “Please when are you coming back ” | asked .She was silent
“When are you coming home?”i asked again
She said something came up with her mum and now she won’t be back for another three days. “Please, take care of the kids,” she said sweetly.
Take care of who???
SOMEBODY PLEASE KI.LL ME
ALREADY!
Three more days alone with these tiny human fireworks?! Nah. This is not parenting. This is a battlefield!
I can’t do this no more.I can’t .
I feel my wife just intentionally punished me
Copied
#fypć· #everyoneć·ć #marriage #love #nigeria
About the Author
